I am broken...

ok so after a drunk night out, i ended up falling over in a strip club and dislocating my thumb..

i have plaster!

i have to see a surgeon!

im typing with 2 fingers on my right hand... hence why there is no capital letters and i havent been blogging! dont forget me! i will be back! once i am fully functional again!

i have had many issues whilst being a cripple and i will share them with you soon..

until then have a fabulous xmas x x x

Money Down The Toilet

As an escort, some would consider me “cheap”.

No not cheap as in a bad thing but as a service, I don’t charge a high rate compared to others in the industry.

$250 an hour and Im all yours…

To some people, $250 for one hours work is A LOT of money. I agree.. It is a lot to spend, especially with no guarantee that you will like me and have a good time (lucky for me, most people like me and DO enjoy an hour or two with me lol)

In Australia, escorts roughly range from $150 an hour to $800 an hour. A small few are even higher. The difference between the $150 lady and the $800 lady can be very noticeable .. But sometimes there is none. Same service, beautiful girl, everything you wanted and needed.. But most have the same end result - a good time was had by all. That itch you needed scratching, taken care of!

Men Don't Cry

Tears. The one thing to me that shows a sign of weakness within myself.

I think its ok for other people to cry. I know it’s a normal emotive action. But if I, ME, if I allow myself to cry, I feel ashamed.

There are times when I believe it is ok for me to cry. When I cry happy tears, that’s ok. To have so much joy inside me that i need to cry, I totally get that and I do that. Seeing my brother get married, my little boy all grown up, starting a new life with his beloved, that was a beautiful moment, a proud moment. I cried for joy!

Funerals. To get thru a loss sometimes tears are all you have. I have cried over my loved ones that have passed, cried til there was nothing left in me. Cried over the great injustice that life is many times, such a cruel twist, taking our loved ones right before our very eyes..

When Will I See You Again?

Another one from SDU I did :)

I wanted to be all sexy and seducing when you arrived. I wanted to bat my eyelids, give you the look that said ‘take me now’, to have your undivided attention from the moment you walked into the room. But as always, it didn’t happen that way. Nerves and shyness get the better of me. More than that, im scared of how you will react. Will you laugh at me? Will I look like a dickhead? Will I trip over? I just don’t think I can pull being a seductress off well at all.

My Eyes Are Closed

I first posted this in a forum I'm a member of.. I love reading over it.. makes me smile.. so i thought i would share

When I first became a sex worker, I was 21. A RnT (rub n tug - nudey massage) girl actually lol. I was nervous. I had no idea if I really REALLY could go thru with it. My first booking, I didn’t do an intro. The receptionist had let the house regs know that a fresh new Working Lady was starting and I already had a booking!

He was an older gentleman. He had a friendly face. My nerves were making my body tremble. He took my hand and walked me into the room.
What happened from that point on, changed the way I enjoyed sex and touch and smell..

Forever.

What Kind Of Undies Are You?

I once did one of those bullshit quizzes in some girlie magazine “what kind of undies are you?” After answering their stupid ass questions, they decided that I was a g-string. Yay me!

I am sooooooo not a g-string. Apart from being great to hide panty lines under tight clothes, g-strings for me, do nothing but irritate my ass, to the point I constantly feel like I have a wedgie. Im more of a boy-leg undies kind of gal. Or no undies at all.. Im startin to like that feeling. Never went undie-less much before but recently.. Its kind of liberating lol.

Is it just me or does everyone have different kinds of undies for different days/times of the month etc??

One last thing....

I had to post again, as i was worried people might be thinking something negative..

When i use the terms "whore" and "slut" and "skank", im not meaning it in a derogatory way.. i was a slut, a proud slut lol.. now i am a whore, a proud whore! To me they are just names, descriptions of the lifestyles , the words themselves hold no negativity for me and thats why i use them so freely! It is what it is...

But in saying all that... if you were to call me a "filthy fucking slut" or a "filthy fucking whore".. well lets just say, someone is guna get hurt LOL

Are Whores Just Really Smart Sluts?

When I go out to a club, I see all these young girls 18-25, dressed in their hoochie mama outfits, shaking their barely covered asses on the dance floor and I smile. They look like whores. Like prostitutes. The clothes they wear clubbin, I wear when im working. I wouldn’t dare dream of wearing that kind of thing out in public…..well not anymore anyways LOL

When I was 16-23, yeah I wore the skanky clothes too. I was on the prowl, looking for a man.. Any man to be honest.. I was a slut. I didn’t even care if I had their name or not, I just loved sex, loved the attention and would do whatever it took to get it.

Then I found the sex industry. Wow. I could be myself and get paid? Are you fucking kidding me? This is brilliant!

Away On A Holiday

I will be gone for a few weeks :)

Dont forget about me!

I will miss you so much, you have no idea

There will only be limited communications from the outside world

How will i cope?

I will be thinking of you

mwah x x

Anal Sex.. Go in or Keep Out?

If I asked you “Do you think all hookers have anal sex with their clients?” what would you say? If I had been asked that question 10yrs ago, I would have answered “Of course they do!”, but let me tell you, this is not the case. I do not provide anal services and I am a sex worker!

Why, you might ask? I havent yet conquered anal sex in my personal life. I have had anal sex once in my life! It was about 8yrs ago. Anal sex scares me LOL.

The Spring Clean

A few years ago, I had a massive spring clean of my life. Not only did I spring clean my house, threw out things I hadn’t used in over 12months, clothes that no longer fit, cleaned every nook and cranny of the house from floors to ceilings…I also spring cleaned my friends.

After my relationship with SM ended, I took a real long hard look at my life. I looked at the people around me and what they brought to my life. I sat there going thru my mobile phone contact list. Some friends I had known for over 10yrs, some I had known for 5.. Some I didn’t really even know, they were a “contact” from days when I liked to party. Over 400 names in the contact list. What did they bring to my life now? This new life I was creating for myself. Was their life going in a positive direction or where they stuck in the past, stuck in a rut? Was their part in my life bringing a negative impact?

Is being a sex worker as bad as being a drug dealer?

In some cultures in the 16th-17th century, prostitutes were the sole women allowed to sing in public or act in theatrical performances.

I had a conversation with a young man on MSN today. He had added me as a friend and as my MSN is under my work name, you would assume people would know I am a sex worker. Why else would they add me to their friends list? Do they think an escorts website is like a dating agency, take down my email address and try and score a girlfriend or a free shag??? No lol, I would have assumed, everyone knows who I am and what I do. This gent did not.

Random Things That Pop In My Head....

**Jealousy is a curse..and one that i have not been given! Of course i have moments of feeling it, but its always only a passing thought. I dont harp on it, dont let it eat away at me..
I do envy some people.. but not in an unhealthy way...i dont understand how some people allow their jealousy to overwhelm them... or sneak into their life..**

**I had cheesey fries for dinner tonight. Basically, shoe string fries, covered with pizza cheese, under the grill... yum! They werent as good as 'Lone star's" but they were pretty good. I feel fat already lmao.. mmmmmm my arteries love me hahaha**

Defining Relationships

How do you know when you're in a relationship?
Do you gauge it by the actions or by the title?
Why do we have to define it?
Does everything in life need a definition?
Can we just exist, going with the flow, taking what comes?

You know when you're in a relationship when someone starts introducing you as their 'girlfriend/boyfriend'..when every waking hour you either long to be with or make sure you are with, your significant other... when you just KNOW deep within yourself, no doubt, you are theirs and they are yours.

Blah blah 1

This blog entry has no point. No story to tell. I dont know what it is really..just a blah. Sometimes you need to blah. Just talk a bit of crap. Once you blah, its like that weight, that weird vibe, that discomfort goes away. Its like giving it to someone else and then its in their mind not yours. Well i dont know about y'all, but thats how it works for me. I release it out into the wild, never to be thought of again. I can smile. My mind will instantly wander over to a new idea/thought/moment and all is good in my fairy world again.

Some blahs are stories, entertaining to others. Some blahs are pain that once told, sympathy, kind words, human interaction can resolve and remove. You may not feel that you want/need sympathy or kind words, but sometimes we dont know what we truly need until it happens, until its there, until its done. There are many different blahs... this is one...

First blog - bit of an intro i guess :)

Negative things, no matter how bad, always leave a positive aftermath. Its only if we choose to see the bright side, that we know that it exists.
I am a firm believer in always trying to see the bright side. People may think I live in a fairy world, that Im not very stable, Im not realistic. Yes i do live in a fairy world, but is there anything wrong with that?
Im not insane, im not on medication and yes i have been assessed a few times and guess what, the docs say im pretty normal lol.

I wasnt always like this tho. A long time ago, i was a victim. I didnt like being the victim, but i thought that was my place in life. Turns out, it was only my place for a short time in my life.. but man.,.. did it feel like forever.

Today I stand a strong independant woman who will take no shit from anybody. Ok yes of course I have my moments of weakness, but as a whole, I am fierce. Now dont get me wrong, Im not mean or aggressive, but i now know what do to react in situations, how to handle certain people and how to get things done. But it took having to go thru some pretty full on situations first, learn things the wrong way and then realise, ok, thats how its done.

I just like to write. I like to tell stories. I like to remember good and bad times. And maybe, just maybe, someone out there might read something that i have said/done/gone thru and they might relate and my words may help.. i dont know lol maybe thats wishful thinking lol!