Friday, June 18, 2010

Blah blah 1

This blog entry has no point. No story to tell. I dont know what it is really..just a blah. Sometimes you need to blah. Just talk a bit of crap. Once you blah, its like that weight, that weird vibe, that discomfort goes away. Its like giving it to someone else and then its in their mind not yours. Well i dont know about y'all, but thats how it works for me. I release it out into the wild, never to be thought of again. I can smile. My mind will instantly wander over to a new idea/thought/moment and all is good in my fairy world again.

Some blahs are stories, entertaining to others. Some blahs are pain that once told, sympathy, kind words, human interaction can resolve and remove. You may not feel that you want/need sympathy or kind words, but sometimes we dont know what we truly need until it happens, until its there, until its done. There are many different blahs... this is one...

Why do some men feel a need to have hate or distaste in their minds, just so they can get through a booking with a Working Lady? They have to see them as a 'service', an object, sub-human, just so they dont develop feelings or perhaps stop themselves from seeing the real issue, them? Sex work, yes, it is on paper, a 'service'. But its a service involving 2 people in a very intimate way. It cant be treated the same as every other 'service'. Emotions and hormones run wild! That act of coldness that they give the lady is hurtful. I see you looking at me, knowing that you dont give a fuck about me, the arrogance that tells me you think i am beneath you, the disinterest that shows no respect at all. What a nasty nasty way to live your life.

I really want to go to Samoa this year.. or any year really. Hopefully for my birthday but im not too sure it will be then. For years Ive fantasised about going. The culture, the people inspire me. I want to be part of that. A reoccurring
dream have some nights is, living in a Samoan village, amongst the palm trees, the beautiful waters, the old version of me, sweeping the floor with my leaf made broom, dressed only in a elava-lava (sarong). I am always old in my dream, retirement age. I am happy, content. I have no partner, no man by my side, but i am not alone. I have children. Not my own by birth, but mine just the same. Children i love and protect, feed and clothe. Samoan children that needed somebody. In reality this is near impossible! As a culture, Samoans do not give away their children. It is a belief that 2 parents dont raise a child, the village does! Everybody has a place. All children have a home. But somehow thats where my dream always takes me. Laughing children, dancing and smiling. Living a simple life, the bare essentials when it comes to material possessions but being blessed with endless amounts of happiness. Oh i hope thats where my destiny takes me! I cant think of a better outcome!

I think im done blahhing for now...

Yeah... all good

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