Friday, August 3, 2012

Whore Violence



In life, some bad shit happens to people.
Sometimes this is because of choices we make... and sometimes its not.

I have been spat on
pushed to ground
had my arms twisted behind my back
a pillow placed over my head to suffocate me
strangled multiple times
slapped in the face and body
held hostage for over 60hrs
woken up to a knife in my face
punched closed fist in the mouth
cut along my legs when i refused sex

Now some may look at this list and think 'She's a sex worker, of course this has happened, its part of the job"

You are so wrong

All of those things happened while i was in committed relationships.
Before i even considered getting into the adult industry.
Way back when i thought 'whores' were disgusting and when i thought i would never let myself be disrespected like that...

yet i was in relationships where i disrespected myself by staying and allowing myself to be treated this way.

Granted i was young... i thought they loved me.. i made justifications for their actions.. i forgave them.... i loved them!

People assume because i am a sex worker that i am exposed to those kinds of violences on a daily basis.

This is false.

In all the years in the industry, i can think of only a handful of really bad experiences, and only this year did i have an experience with a client that i could not control and i was hurt.

1 major incident in 11 yrs? Thats pretty fucking good if you ask me!

Sure there have been jerks who have tried to start crap, but you quickly learn how to steer a booking in your direction or get the hell out. Some times you do suck it up a little and put up with a situation, even if you dont like it.. its kind of like a survival thing kicks in..

Ive punched a few clients, ive thrown their clothes out doors and sent them out into the cold naked, ive laughed in their face and told them to "get the fuck out", plus much much more. These kinds of things have been done to prevent myself from a nasty situation. Sure, these scenarios could have turned really bad.. but there is something scary about a naked woman who just snaps and goes mental.. naked men get freaked the fuck out!

It may be because of the fact that i only offer a very vanilla service, that i have not had high numbers of incidences and perhaps sex workers that offer more full on stuff, maybe their numbers of major incidences would be higher over 11yrs... but the fact of the matter remains, that these pathetic excuses of people, the ugly mug kind of client i speak of, the fact remains that they are small in numbers, they are not the majority (thank god)

There was a study done regarding sex work, the Lash report (i think ive mentioned it a billion times) and it says that sex workers have no more and no less sti's than the general population....

... i say - sex workers are exposed to violence no more and no less than the general population.

If i were to use myself as a case study, i can honestly say that Holly has experienced less violence working in the sex industry compared to that of her personal relationships.

There are fucked people everywhere. just because you are a doctor, an accountant, a teacher, a chef, that does mean you are safe from violence.. it doesnt mean that you wont ever have a hand raised at you,.. it doesnt mean that you wont ever feel fear.....

Being in the sex industry and i guess in a way living through domestic violence, i have become a stronger woman.. I am very headstrong.... I know my job well and if i encounter a possibly problematic client, i thrive on it... i get off on twisting the situation to make them feel small.. to make them feel weak and powerless...

Many of my friends outside of the industry have said that i "wont ever find a man that can handle" me... i am too independent... i am too masculine in the way i do some things...

This may be so... but all i know is, i am happy.. and i wont accept violence of any kind in my life.

I am not every sex worker.
I can only speak for myself
This is my experience
No two experiences are ever alike....


Sex work is not the evil that society likes to think it is.
Yes bad stuff does happen..not every sex worker is as lucky as me ...
But i really really wish they were...










1 comment:

  1. I too reckon Holly would be hard to handle within a relationship as it is with a lot of women.
    You're one fairly tough little chicky though.

    ReplyDelete