Thursday, March 10, 2011

Treat Your Hooker Well!



There is an old saying “Treat people how you wish to be treated”. it’s a good old saying and its one that even reigns true when hiring the services of a hooker!

Believe it or not, Hookers are people too! True story!

So I thought id blog some tips on how you can make your experience with a hooker a happier time for BOTH of you and basically how you can get the very best from your Working Lady or Man.

It starts before you even pick up the phone and make a booking!>

Before you even think about dialing the number, have you googled the hooker? Googling a sex worker can be a great way to find out if that lady/man is the right one for you. There are many adult industry review forums where you can read other peoples experiences with that hooker. If you are after a GFE (girlfriend experience) you can make sure the hooker you have selected provides that kind of service No point booking a sex worker that does bondage and dominance if your after kisses and cuddles and certainly no point booking a GFE hooker if you are after porn star style fucking. You will be sadly disappointed. So big key here - Research your hooker!

Once you have selected the right hooker for you, if they have a website, check out their stats, age, size, hair colour etc.. still keen? Then check out their prices! Sounds reasonable? PICK UP THE PHONE!

No.. wait! Before you dial that number, look at the time! Is it before 9am? Don’t ring. Is it after 10pm? Don’t ring! If you want to be taken seriously, ring during normal business hours and your hooker will be happy. They work odd hours sure, but still show a little respect, as they do have lives outside of the industry.

OK so we got the hooker, it’s an appropriate time, lets get on the phone!!

Make sure you don’t have your number blocked! Private sex workers rarely will answer private numbers. Why? it’s a small form of security for us. It stops people from doing prank bookings (sometimes) and personally I always let someone know where I will be just in case the client decides to murder me mid shag, someone will have his name and phone number as a reference. If you do ring with a blocked/private number, you most probably will get an answering machine. Leave a message with a contact number and they will call you back.

So the phone is ringing…. Your hooker answers! Be polite, introduce yourself, tell them where you found them (via internet, ad in paper etc) They will smile as they realise you have done some research and you know a bit about them. Don’t ask them questions that you already know. For instance: don’t ask the prices - you saw their website, you KNOW the prices! Don’t ask too many questions that would be XXXrated. You don’t know where your hooker is! They could be in line of the supermarket and unable to discuss such risqué matters! You’re not on the phone to get an erection, you are there to make a booking, keep on the right track lol. Don’t ask for services that you know your hooker doesn’t do. If you saw on her/his website “no anal”, don’t ask for it. There is a reason they have listed this on their website… they don’t do it. Not even for you! And no, even if you offer more money, sorry dude, not happening. This type of questioning will certainly piss your hooker off and that is what we are trying to avoid!

Secure the time and place with your hooker! At this point, you should be getting a little excited with anticipation. Don’t fuck it up! Keep it short and sweet. End the call on a pleasant note.. Something like “Im really looking forward to meeting you, see you on blah blah day

End of call!

Now a common mistake some clients make is, after the initial call, they make make more calls, or send texts messages or emails or twitter messages and/or all of the above. Depending on your hooker, this is generally not a good idea UNLESS you have something important to add or change. Hookers are busy people, one day they might have time for idle chit cat but then other days, no chance in hell of getting a reply. Don’t annoy your hooker too much because they may just turn around and say “dude, you are annoying/hassling me and I really don’t feel comfortable in seeing you now” This is not what you want to hear! So keep communication to a very very very bare minimum!

The day of the booking is here! Woohoo!!!! If you are mega excited and think you will only last 2seconds. I suggest, have a wank in the morning. If you want to kiss your hooker or go down on your hooker, SHAVE! There is nothing worse than “pash rash” on the punani or face! Shave shave shave! Your hooker will let you do a lot more if they arent in pain while you are doing things. And trust me, stubble on the punani is fucking horrible! Its very delicate down there! You gotta be gentle! Lol.
If you shave “down there” yourself, also make sure there it is silky smooth. I know I certainly don’t like to lick balls that are prickly! Its one or the other, have pubic hair or shave it off.. Nothing in between lol.

Its time! OMG!

OK so the booking begins…. As soon as you meet your hooker, hand over an envelope with the cash. It doesn’t HAVE to be in an envelope but it is a little nicer to do it that way. Don’t be offended if your hooker counts the money in front of you. Its not that she doesn’t trust you but, you just met and odds are some idiot guy has stuffed them around before. Better to be safe than sorry!

Generally your hooker will take the lead from here. They may pop you in the shower, sit and chat, they may even rip your clothes off and go wild, Every hooker is different, so just go with the flow! Some hookers may do a health check on you. Again , this isn’t cos they don’t trust you, they just havent met your penis before so they may take a look at your bits just to make sure everything is cool. A good hooker knows the difference between a mole and a skin tag, so don’t stress. If you do have something uncool or unhealthy, you im sure will already be aware of this, so don’t play dumb or act offended, you knew this could be an issue and it’s a risk you took by making the booking. Its up to the hooker at this point whether the booking goes ahead. Some hookers don’t do an obvious health check, They may do it without you even realising, so don’t think that they havent been cautious, doesn’t mean they don’t care, they just may not want to be too clinical in your booking.

So lets say you pass your health check and all is good!

As I said, go with your hookers lead. If you feel they are talking too much or wasting time and you wana get naked, there are ways to steer things in the right direction without setting a bad tone. Something like “Shall we get nekkid?” or “can I show you the bedroom/?” something nice, with a big grin on your face.

Some things not to do during the booking!
*Don’t demand, ask! If you want something, you have more chance if you add a “please” and be sweet. Demanding that your hooker do something is NOT going to win you brownie points. They may be a “paid service” but remember, if you’re an asshole to the Mcdonalds people, they WILL spit in your burger.. Be nice, get more!
*Don’t remind your hooker “I paid for you” this will not sit nicely with your hooker and you may then get a shit service.. A very basic shit service.
*Don’t ask them “what are you doing in this industry? You’re too nice/too good for this industry” Hookers have chosen this job, they love this job, if they didn’t want to be there they wouldn’t. Would you question why a doctor is a doctor? Why a hairdresser is a hairdresser? They are usually very proud of what they do, so to ask that is directly insulting their choices in life. Don’t do it lol.
*Don’t ever try to rip a condom off during play time. This will in most cases end your booking right there with no money back. If a sex worker chooses to use protection, you must respect that choice and to take that decision away from them is not cool, at all. Some would even consider it a form of rape.
*Don’t keep your eye fixed on the clock. Sure you don’t want to be ripped off time,BUT if you’re too busy watching the clock., how the hell are you going to have fun and your hooker will notice it and then think you don’t like them or you are just wanting it to be over, that you would rather be somewhere else. If you have done your research right and picked a good hooker, you wont have a time issue, so keep your eyes off it!
*Try not to call them a “Prostitute”. Yes we all know that’s what hookers are, BUT there are many nicer ways of saying it. “Sex Worker”, “Working lady/Man” “Escort”, these are all acceptable terms. “Prostitute” has bad connotations for your hooker, as society has used the word prostitute as a blasphemy of sorts.
*Don’t be disrespectful. If your hooker says “No” to something, accept it and move on! We all as people have limits as to what we do or don’t do.. don’t push those limits, as it wont be received well. Cranky hooker = bad time for you.

Hookers are people and the better you treat them the nicer they will be to you. I know me personally, if you treat me well, I will let you do a lot more. I may even give you extra time! Be a dick and not only will the booking end right on time, I will refuse to see you again and I will probably tell all my hookers friends what an ass you were and you will find it hard to get a good hooker in the future. Yes, that’s right, us hookers talk about you lads.. So play nice, cos you want only good things said about you ! And hell yes, we do talk about the good guys too!

After the booking is over, its absolutely ok to send a text/email/message of some kind to say that you had a fabulous time. We love that! It makes us smile, it makes us happy and we get a great self satisfaction out of it! Don’t be shy to ever compliment your hooker on a job well done!

Some people like to bring gifts to hookers. Whether this be a form of sucking up or what, hookers LOVE this BUT it is NOT expected! A box of choccies, a bottle of wine, whatever you have in mind your hooker will LOVE as it is the thought that counts and everyone in this world likes to be appreciated! Don’t however think that just because you brought gifts you should get better treatment. An asshole is still an asshole regardless if he brings a box of choccies or a diamond ring and will get treated as such.

Between the first booking and the next, respect your hookers time, don’t bombard them with endless emails, texts, etc. If your hooker is ok with this kind of contact she will more than likely instigate it. If she doesn’t like it she will tell you. Most will give you a kind of warning to say it not appropriate.. If you continue to message/text you may find yourself having to find a new hooker. They are not at your beck and call 24hrs,.. You cant text your baker everyday, nor your dentist without them getting the shits, so don’t do it to your hooker.

Its all very simple stuff - be nice = get good service!

So I hope this has been some help…. Maybe its reminding you that even tho you are paying for a hooker to fuck you, they are still humans and lets face it, if you treat your wife like a second class citizen odds are, you arent going to have dinner on the table when you get home, nor will you get laid!

Be polite, be courteous, be open to going with the flow…. All these things will help you have an awesome experience with your hooker with hopefully many more orgasms to come!










5 comments:

  1. Hookers are people too, true story. Lmao. That is brilliant. This is great, people don't know this stuff (or at least let me say this, I wouldn't have known all of it).

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  2. i laughed as i wrote that line also lol.. you gotta add a bit of humour.. or sarcasm, whatever you want to call it.

    Wow, look at me, im like a teacher or something hahaha

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  3. agreed that everyone deserve respect ,
    if we respect without conditions it makes us better human.
    god bless

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  4. thank you for your comment Baili x x i really like what you wrote.. the world would be such a beautiful place if we all lived that way x x x

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  5. This helped me a lot, I'm not really a ladies man, in fact I'm always shy when talking to a woman :) , I guess that's why I never had too many girlfriend's in school.

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